New Life

Sunday we showed up to work with wrist bands from the night before.

What a great time. We went shopping and bar hopping.

My Love bought me a new outfit since I really didn't bring much to work with.

Now that I was back I was sad. I decided I would, in fact be up there every weekend. I would take my babies on the weekends that their daddy didn't have them. And It would be fine. My Love absolutely adored them.

I told my friends I was in love with this man, and that I wanted to move to his new city with him.

They were a little shocked at first but kind of expected it.

I had planned to go in about a year. No one really knew except the people closest to me.

I would lay in my bed and talk to him all night until I fell asleep... How was I going to make it 8 months....

One weekend I called in to work, said I had a doctors appointment. I shouldn't have lied it bit me in the butt.

I showed up 3 days in a row with out a doctors note.

My Supervisor suggested I go home and get it to keep my job. I called My Love and asked him to come get me. I didn't have a note. Nor did I have a doctors appointment that weekend.

He pulled up out front, got out of the car, and sat on the hood were everyone could see him through the windows. He was my knight in shining armor. And we wanted the world to know we were in love and destined to be together.

We spontaneously decided that was my last day, and immediately started packing my bags.

My ex was crushed. I was really taking the loves of his life away. 2 hours away.

But, For our happiness and their more fortunate future life, I would do anything.

My Love had bought me a shirt with his new city written in big bold letters. He called one morning really early to say he had found us an apartment, fully furnished. We didn't have anything except a bed and one crib. The exes took everything. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I wanted to start over.  

I had packed up my entire car and worn that shirt to my job to pick up my last check. It was like a revenge to all of those that doubted us.

My babies and I hit the road. That night when we got there, the apartment was not ready yet. so we stayed with a friend of his that he has known his entire life.

Eager to get our keys to our first place, we woke up at the crack of dawn.

My Love was working when I got the keys. The furniture couldn't be delivered until the next day. So we borrowed an air mattress. We all piled up on the air mattress... My babies and My Love fell asleep before me, and though we had nothing, I had everything I wanted...

Fly Away

Finally.

We are back to good. It started to scare me.

He was taking a vacation day every other day. He was getting ready to quit his job and start his new one... So far away.

What was this going to do to us? He had mentioned taking me along with him in one of our "late night" conversations. But, I didn't think he was actually serious. How could I take my babies so far away from their entire families?

We talked about it. I decided I will move. But I am going to wait about 8 months to save some money and let him get on his feet in a new city!

We were still a very new couple and tried to keep it as quiet as possible. My Crush came to work on what was secretly his last day. We had our last break together. People started to walk back in. He leaned over and kissed me. I was so red-faced. afraid to start drama... There were people there that were friends with the wife and couldn't and wouldn't understand our love.

I went back in, and he followed me to my seat, kissed the back of my head and left. I knew he was leaving for good. Just me.

A few weeks later though and everyone was talking about it.

It was the night before he was leaving. I decided to invite all of our mutual friends to a going away party for him!

A mutual friend let it leak that it was being planned. And we were busted.

We had to move quickly.

I called on my last break and reserved a room at a near by Hotel with my debit card. And after work we all snuck out acting as if the party was cancelled.

It was a very fun night. Lots of friends. We found ourselves alone most of the night, saying our goodbyes.

I really didn't want him to leave.

The next morning he had to leave pretty early. He text me the whole way...

I was so bummed. Thinking to myself, How will I make it these next 8 months. I would go up every weekend. Even take the kiddos.

I get a call that afternoon from my love. He invites me up to explore his new city tonight!!
Me and a close girlfriend hit the road. I haven't been more excited.

We stayed the entire weekend.

And then it was back to reality on Sunday...

Avoidance

A few months before all of this started to happen, He had mentioned a new job in a city about 2 hours away.
I thought he was leaving me... but boy was I wrong.




On this day, The wife tried to win my crush's heart by packing up all of his and her belongings while he was in a meeting.

She moved them all to storage.

He called when he got home and told me all of his stuff was gone and so was she.

I was sad for him.

I knew he had thought twice about everything that day.

Thought the right thing to do was to beg her to come home.

And to some it might have been.

But, was it fair that she be happy in his relationship, and not him?

I think not.

I told my ex it was time to leave. I apologized for letting my heart wonder, and falling in love with another man. I was very honest with him. I told him that I could not possibly live the rest of my life with him and be in love with another man.

He didn't take it well... but he took all the money he had and found an apartment that day.

There was no turning back.

It was all or nothing.

We were all in.

My best guy friend at the time had just hooked up with an old flame and invited my crush and me over for drinks.

This was our first time together in front of people. We were both so nervous and unable to relax.

We watched Twilight, drank wine and played cards. This is the happiest I had been with a man in all my life.

I just knew he was my soul mate.

That night I fell asleep and he went home.

The next few nights he would come over and stay with me at my place. We stayed up many many nights just talking.

On the 15th, we decided we were officially a couple. =)!!!

Standing on my deck talking that night, the wife pulls around the corner.

We were not friends, nor had she ever been to my house or knew where it was.

My Crush tells me to walk back inside and wait for him.

I watched out the window the whole time. I had this crazy sense that he was going to get in the car with her, and go home. That was the easy way out.

She cried, he hugged her, they laughed and hugged some more. This was very emotional. Not just for the people that we hurt...

She stood up and walked to her car. He stood up and walked in my house and locked the door and she drove off...

My heart sank.

The next day, my crush went home to get himself ready for work.

He didn't show up.

He didn't call.

He didn't answer.

nor Text.

A whole week went by. I was lost and confused.

I text him "I give up"

He calls, I say "Hello?"

He says "Please don't give up!"

Commotion

I look up

 I see my boyfriend/ex boyfriend standing by the door.

He says "Come here"

I think for a minute...

I stand up and walk that way.

As I pass my crush, we lock eyes as I swallow the lump in my throat. I'm carrying my son on my hip in front of my entire staff of co-worker. Needless to say I am distraught.

I round the corner, and see his face up close for the first time all day.

I could see anger and stress...

But under it all, I saw hurt.

A questions and comments later, and I tried to hide in the bathroom with my son. I didn't want to fight in front of him. I stood in front of the door holding it shut. As my ex pushed on the door.

The supervisor runs out into the lobby to see what the commotion was.

He tells my ex to move away from the door, and lures me back to his office where the ex is not allowed.

I sit in a chair close enough to the door that I can still hear what is going on, but he cant see me.

My crush comes in the back door and sits by me. We do not speak but I am most certain that we are thinking the same thing.

The Supervisor came back to his office. He knew something was up. He said "Your wife is here, and she is not leaving with out a fight."

I was not mad. Not angry at all. I was confused. I didn't want to be in this position. I tried to avoid my feelings and I tried to move forward with my life and keep my job.

My Crush convinced me that he wouldn't let anything happen to me. He would walk me out to the car with my son.

My ex finally left, but she didn't. She wanted me. I didn't blame her. I was wrecking her marriage. destroying her life.

She waited for about 30 minutes. I believe she didn't know I had my son with me. I mean, what was I supposed to do, put my 5 month old down on the floor and go fight the wife?

We promised each other we wouldn't.

The police showed up.

They noticed the ex parked across the street, waiting for closing time. The cops scared him off.

Finally, It was over.

I went home. I told my ex that I called the police, and they were going to circle my home overnight to make sure he didn't come back.

My crush went with his friend, to avoid going home.

All I wanted in the world was for him to come to my house to hold me.

I had classes the next morning. Finals to be exact.

The next day was a manager's meeting at work, It was our day off so I was at home.

This day would change our lives...

________Time out__________

I want to take a time out from writing the story of my life...

Last week was Thanksgiving.

I have an amazing family.

Some family member drove several hours to get to our dinner, and once we got there, we ate...
and then we left.

I feel like every holiday, we all get together and cant wait to get home!

Ppl weren't even done with their meals and others were leaving. And for what?

From now on, We are going to have activities at our Holiday get togethers.

These activities will suit the Holiday we are celebrating, and before every game we will watch
a video of the family playing it the yr before...  this will get up amped up.

I have lost quite a few very close ppl in my life.

The ones I have left mean a lot to me and I would really like to completely relax and enjoy myself. There shouldn't be anything more important on major holidays than kicking your shoes off and playing a round of mad gab, or pin the Nose on Rudolph! =)

Here are some great Holiday Activities:

       Christmas:
          Santa's Reindeer Scavenger Hunt (http://www.partygameideas.com/)
     
This is a scavenger hunt type game. You'll need to buy 8 reindeer, one more if you want to include Rudolph.
Here is the Prep - Santa's Reindeer had a big party last night the eve before Christmas Eve and now Santa doesn't know where they are and he needs your help to find his reindeer!

Each guest is given a piece of paper and a pencil and asked to find Santa’s reindeer, the first 8 people (or 9) to find Santa's Reindeer will win a prize. (You can give whatever). You can also set a time limit too that way people may not be running and then you give prizes to the people who got the most correct.

At the location of your party, you'll need to hide each reindeer amongst the room some should be easy to find and some more difficult. Place one on the snack table; one could be in with the presents, one in the tree, and so on! The goal is for your guests to find Santa's reindeer and the first 8 or 9 people to finish correctly each win a reindeer to take home.

Other options would include allowing each winner to pick a reindeer (1st person to turn in their sheet would go first) and randomly have 1 reindeer be marked for an extra special prize or gift. (Gift basket, money, etc...)

           
             Pin the Nose on Rudolph (kids) (http://www.activityvilliage.co.uk/)

This is a simple children's Christmas party game. I deal for young children due to the simple rules. It's all round good fun.

Preparing the game Draw a large reindeer to pin on the wall or to stick to a table. Try not to leave indented drawing lines on the paper, we don't want any cheating!

Make a red nose and cut it out. Or you could paint a Ping-Pong ball red and use that for Rudolf's nose. Stick some blue tack on the back of the nose so that it easily sticks to the large reindeer drawing.

How to play Blindfold your first contestant with a scarf. Give them the nose and then turn them round 3 times and then guide them to the reindeer picture.

The contestant must then stick the nose on where they think Rudolf's nose should be in the picture whilst still blindfolded.

Once the nose is stuck in place, the contestant can remove their blindfold to see the result. The referee should mark the spot with a small 'x' and then label it with the contestant's name. Blindfold the next contestant to repeat the process.

Once everyone has taken a turn, the winner is the contestant whose 'x' is closest to the correct place for Rudolf's bright red nose.

Hitting tha fan.

Constantly bickering, My ex and I were trying to patch things up.

My Crush and I had been caught texting, e-mailing, and talking on the phone.

I was over it.

If you love me, why are you not with me?

Why would you still be with the person you do not belong with. Maybe I should ask myself that.

I planned several "Girls Night Out" occasions. Me and my girl friends would all meet at the bar.
Secretly I would be meeting my crush. They knew it. They looked the other direction. There was no
telling us what we should and shouldn't do.

Our latest attempt to keep in touch secretly, was the dumbest idea we could have ever thought of.

He suggested I make a Facebook account under a name of one of his friends. (I guess we wanted to be sure we were really in love before we made a mess of our lives and a path of distruction) Instead I made an account with a total fake name. Silly me, made the account with my own email address which is in BIG BOLD LETTERS on the profile page. (Or did I do it on purpose, you ask?)

I admit, A lot of arguments I caused between my self and the father of my babies and My crush and his wife were planned and worked out accordingly.

Everyone knows it is easier to break up with someone you care about if they are mad.

And we did care about them.

We decided we wanted to be together!

The question was no longer "if?" but "when and how?".

We corresponded a few times through the fake facebook account.

Writing silly messages and chatting back and forth.

We continued our flirtatiousness at work for the whole world to see. We were in love.. Who cares who knows.

One night, I get a call from my "baby daddy" while I am at work. ((I remember this night too vividly))
He is screaming at me, asking me who is this person with my e-mail address on facebook whose only friend is **** ******* (My Crush).

I have no answers for him.

He took my daughter to my mother, and for some ridiculous reason, he brought my son to me. Keep in mind he was about 5 months old, so in a car seat.

For some reason, on this day, I was sitting in my crushes office. Something went wrong with staffing and I volunteered... imagine that =)

I was sitting in his office with my son... My crush knew exactly why. He was looking at me and talking on the phone.

It was his wife, and all hell was about to break loose....

*Changes*

"Mom?" I sent her a text from the bedroom at 7am. She came running into the bedroom where I was in excruciating pain.

It was coming from my lower back and abdominal area.

My last pregnancy was induced, so i did not experience this before.

About an hour later... All the pain was gone. It was about 5 days before Christmas, and a week before my due date.

My sister and I decided to go shopping to finish our Christmas lists. We were in the store for about 2 hours when my water broke.

The contractions were about 5 minutes apart... and about 6 hours and an epidural later, I gave birth to my very handsome baby boy Kharter Anthony.

Now I have 2 kids. Live at home with mom. Going to school full time. Work full time. And couldn't have the love of my life. I was one stressed out, sleep deprived momma.

I took a leave from work for 6 weeks. Kharter had stomach problems and didn't sleep well the entire 6 weeks.

The 6 weeks went by fast.

My crush and I couldn't go that long without talking. We e-mailed and talked on the phone almost the entire time. I made a few trips to see him. I missed him very much.

It was time for me to go back to work.

I went in for the first day back and was overwhelmed with emotions. I get to see him everyday again!

Next week was Valentine's day.

I wished we were together... I wanted this day to be ours!

We took our breaks together and chatted in between calls.

On Valentine's Day I came into work with a Card on my desk from my crush. Melted my heart, but made me very sad at the same time.

Little did I know... My life was really about to change.
______________________________________________________
I found an apartment in Russellville. My two babies and I moved in.

For some reason my ex had swindled his way in, and I invited him back to live with us.

                        My crush and I both tried very hard for so long to

                            make our own families work...

                       There is only so much you can do.

                            And forcing yourself to be in love with someone

                        Is just not possible...